ten past ten on good friday, we have been up for about an hour (ish) and the child is doing my nut in already. All i can seem to think about is chocolate hot cross buns from jolly old marks and spencers and the fact that when ever i want to listen to something on the old goggle box, the child seems to read my thoughts and rev up a gear so i cant hear a damn thing, purely because he isnt allowed his programmes on yet. Grrrrrr
I'll be honest and say I dont even know why i'm doing this. A friend on facebook told me my posts always make her laugh and i should write a blog. So as a definate follower and not a leader....here i am...my own blog....ive never read a blog before, ive never written a blog before....i had no idea what on earth a blog was until last night when i had to google it.  So what on earth am i doing with my own one????  I dont even know if anyone can see what im waffling or if anyone is interested in the slightest. All i am aware of at this very moment in time is the fact my childs breath absolutely fecking stinks and that he is clearly going for the record of how quickly he can piss me off in one morning.
i am aware that people think i am very heartless when i speak of my child in this way. believe me, i am his mum and i would kill for him. id do time quite happily to make sure he was happy and safe and settled and secure and has a good furture and that he is loved. BUT and it's a very big but....he is the most annoying attention seeking little boy you could ever wish to meet. I know him inside out and know when his aspergers has kicked in and he isnt in control of his actions, and whether he is actually just being an annoying attention seeking drama queen.  There is a distinct look in his eyes when he is in his aspergers bubble. Its a far away distant look, where he cant focus on anything, he doesnt hear anything, its like an empty paper bag. Theres just nothing there.
Everything he does has an ulterior motive, he sits in his armchair and glance over at me, even when now when im typing this load of twaddle, i can see him glancing over at me, to see what im doing and whether i am paying any attention to him and what he is doing. He knows this annoys the fuck out of me. Beleive it or not, i am quite a private person and to constantly be watched and looked at absolutely does me in. Its an invasion of my privacy in my eyes and i hate it.  Still i suppose it serves me right for all the many years i have spent staring with undying love into my latest hearts desires' eyes thinking "wow just too good to be true, cant take my eyes off of you....da da da da da da da da da....." you know that song, dont pretend you dont. it'll be in your head all day now...... i never realised how damn irritating it is.

I suppose i had better go an haul my lardy arse upstairs for a bath.  Have a good day my lovely xxx

I should probably start this thing by introducing myself.  I am Alli. I am 32, a single parent of a 10 year old son with aspergers syndrome, the owner of 2 cats and a beaten up old car called Bertie and a laptop with a g key that keeps sticking.

I am divorced from my husband of 4 years affectionately known as Tosser (but dont tell him) who I could cheerfully stab hard with a fork at times for his sheer stupidity and bleurghness. If it wasn’t for my son, i would have walked away and never seen the creature again for the past 8 years, but i have to be polite…sometimes…..when i i’ve not been so wound up that my eyeballs almost literally pop out of my head from withholding the screams of annoyance and frustration.

There are currently no men in my life at all (other than the cat – no not like that filthy!!!) but believe me I’ve managed to find my fair share of fuckwits over the years…and it looks like there is going to be a steady stream of them until the day I pop my clogs.  

My child is more than enough of a handful. He currently has the hump and has just stomped upstairs because i said no to him having a biscuit. Don’t be too sympathetic…he has just stuffed in a raisin and shortbread yorkie…..see…..he doesn’t need a flipping biscuit on top of that does he. Considering that not 10 minutes ago, he was on the loo telling me he thought he had diarrhea…..not too harsh a thing for me to say, i don’t think, as in the word no…..he didn’t need a biscuit. End of. Get the hump. I’m not changing my mind just because you stomp up the stairs.

i think you can see the way this blog is going to go. It is going to be ( as it says on the tin) a rambling lot of waffle about my day to day life and what goes on inside my slightly warped mind. If you are suicidal and are thinking about sticking your head in the oven to end it all…..I wouldn’t carry on reading if Im honest as it doesn’t get much better or any more exciting.

 That’s all I can think of to introduce myself. Not highly exciting I’m afraid but a bit better than watching paint dry