Oh my goodness!  I am actually typing this on my phone! Oh my goodness.  I'm gobsmacked! Me who is so absolutely crap with all things technical am typing this on my phone.  Wow.  I have downloaded all kinds of goodies and kind of know how to use them.   Every thing that's on my laptop is on my phone.  I am truly amazed!
It's absolutely blooming freezing today and I've been trying to find a way to stop my cat weeing on my new seeds that I spent ages digging a piece of fresh earth to put in. Bastard thing.  He's spent the last few weeks throwing up all over the place and now he's weeing on my seeds.   Grrr.  Love him, but he's on  dangerous ground.  As is my child.   Maybe it's all children that are very ungrateful, but he has had the weekend entirely devoted to him and he's still a shite.  His bedroom is freezing and I can't work out why.   And im trying to decide whether I need to go shopping tomorrow or if I can hold off until Wednesday.   This is the excitement of my life right now.   Riveting stuff hey lol.
Why is his bedroom so darn cold and why have I just received a phone call from Swansea? ?? ? What on earth is going on? ? The day is getting stranger and stranger. ...
Maybe it's aliens. ..maybe it's the doctor. ..oh my goodness hahaha it could be the doctor! ! He's always in Wales! ! I might have just hung up on the doctor. ...oh no!!! Maybe he was going to help me warm up the bedroom. ...cor I wish hahaha. ....

Just a hunch but I don't think the bottom of my washing up bowl should be orange.  Time to get cracking on the house work at sometime soon me thinks. I need to get in the child's bedroom but I'm not sure I want to see what's under that bed of his.  It'll either be some kind of creature from the black lagoon reaching out to grab me by the throat or a cosovan family that have been squatting rent free.  I really do shudder at the thought.
The front room isn't too bad right now, the dust bunnies seem to be doing what bunnies do best and multiplying by the second and i seem to have shapes and pictures drawn in the screen of the tv, but I suppose those are easier got rid off if only I could summon the motivation to get  of my rather ample backside and do it.
All I actually seem to want to do right now is bloody eat.  I cant stop. It's like an addiction that I simple cant get enough of.  From the moment I wake up till the time i go to sleep (accompanied by a doctor who audiobook) i am thinking about food.  This is SO wrong.  Im blowing up like a boil as each day goes by. It's terrible. I know I should be eating my low GI diet for my poly cystic whatsists, but all I seem to want is a good pastie and haribo.  I keep saying to myself, "tomorrow I'll get back on track" but I never do, or if I do, I do well all day and then the fruit pastilles call me from the cupboard to eat them one by one until they are gone and i feel quite sick, and then lay in bed listening to my audio book wondering why i cant get to sleep....Erm...sugar rush me thinks!!!! what a plum!!!!
Right now, the boy is out on his bike. I'm waiting for him to return any moment because the chain has plopped off again.  I am slightly suspicious of the fact he has made his own bed this morning and a bit pissed off he appears to have pinched my tesco pyrex stickers from my purse.  I'll probably find them incorporated into the door of stickers that leads to the pit of doom other wise known as his bedroom.  I might actually pop up and have a looky in a second.  In the meantime, i'll sit on my bum wondering why i am watching bargain hunt.  Has my life really come to this??? Sitting on the living room carpet writing to no one watching bargain hunt?? Im 32 dam it - not 75.  I hate bargain hunt!!! That stupid man with his stupid glasses with his stupid unfunny cringe worthy comments...urgh.....It's almost as bad as that nasty creepy David "i just stepped out of a vat of doritos" dickinson on the other side.  Why am i even watching it?? get off your fat arse Alli and go and DO something. Put some music on and go wash the bottom of your orange washing up bowl and prepare for bike chain fixing.